Episode 11
The Power of a Sad Story - Why Books can be Therapeutic with Julee Balko
Julee Balko has been a Creative Director, brand builder, and content creator for years – while mothering and lassoing her three crazy daughters in her spare time. But she’s always wanted to be a “real” writer – the kind who has a book with her name on it.
The Things We Keep is her first novel and a dream come true. Julee started writing The Things We Keep after her mother passed away because she was thrust into a world of grief that no one talks about. Julee has always been drawn to writing about interesting characters and complex relationships. She wanted to create characters that go way beyond your “let’s go shopping” kind of mothers. This book was especially written for women and men who are a part of the sandwich generation – those who are trying to take care of their aging parents while balancing parenting, a job, and multiple glasses of wine.
She just finished her second novel, “The Me List,” which brings to life an unlikely friendship between neighbors. Sometimes the realtor next door helps you find a home. Sometimes she helps you find yourself.
Learn more about The Things We Keep: https://www.juleebalko.com/
Follow her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/juleebalko/ or Twitter https://twitter.com/misplacedcomma2
A little about today's host-
Author and musical composer Kathleen Basi is mother to three boys and one chromosomally-gifted daughter. Her debut novel, A SONG FOR THE ROAD, follows a musician on an unconventional road trip. Bestselling author Kerry Anne King writes, “In a novel filled with music, heartbreak, and surprising laughter, Basi takes us on a journey that encompasses both unimaginable loss and the powerful resilience of the human heart.”
Meaty, earnest, occasionally humorous, and ultimately uplifting, Kathleen’s fiction highlights the best within ourselves and each other. She writes monthly reflections on life, writing and beauty on her newsletter. Subscribe at https://kathleenbasi.substack.com/.
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Learn more about our hosts, the guests we've had, and their books -
Transcript
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[:[00:00:21] Kathleen: Let me tell you a little bit about today's guest. Julee Balko is the author of The Things We Keep her first novel, which one reviewer said every woman should read whether your mom is alive or dead. She's also a freelance writer, creative director, and regular mommy guru to her three daughters who inspire her every day. She just finished her second novel and is hoping to score an agent.
[:[00:00:48] Julee: Thank you. It's fun to be.
[:[00:01:00] Julee: Probably the interesting thing, um, is that I am a total mutt and I don't even know where I would tell someone where I live anymore. Um, I was born in Chicago, lived in Philly. Lived in Boston, lived in North Carolina, and then a year ago I moved outside Seattle, Washington. So I am, um, I like to move, I guess I'm from a lot of places,
[:[00:01:37] Julee: You know, this time was a huge move from North Carolina to Washington. And as my kids get older, um, I can tell that I told them this will be the last time I move. Once, once they graduate that, then I'll move again. It's, it's definitely harder with kids. but every place has something. You learn everything, you know, there's definitely cool parts to the country and I love learning about new places.
[:[00:02:05] Julee: The one thing, would probably be that parents don't last forever. I lost my mom at in my late twenties, and that was, it was just unexpected. Right? In your twenties, you're kind of a jerk, or at least I was. I was super independent. I was a fine daughter, but you just, you don't expect, your parents aren't gonna be around, and it actually is what inspired me to write my book is that going through grief, I was just really unprepared for that.
[:[00:02:48] Julee: So that lesson I learned in my twenties stuck with me for a very, very long time.
[:[00:03:02] Julee: Mm-hmm. definitely. And I, I actually was, my mother and my first daughter only overlapped by a, uh, by a few months. And, and that's hard. That's a time where you really appreciate your mother is when you
[:[00:03:13] Julee: and, um, yeah, I had a lot of perspective that I, I wish I had had, um, when she was alive.
[:[00:03:25] Julee: Yeah, she had breast cancer, which also shows up in my book. I made the main character actually studies breast cancer. I did a lot of research into, um, cancer itself. My husband studies breast cancer. He's a scientist, so he helped me with the science, angle of the book. And my daughters also all love science, so I really wanted a main character that was in STEM that had a job that I knew my daughters might want one day.
[:[00:04:00] Kathleen: It gives you, I would imagine it's probably pretty cathartic to do this writing, almost like a, a way to process your own grief.
[:[00:04:21] Kathleen: Hmm. So it sounds like this book is incredibly, intensely personal to you. That's really great. Um, tell, can you tell us, first of all, tell us the name of the book again.
[:[00:04:37] Kathleen: Yes. Right. So what was the hardest part of your book to write?
[:[00:05:01] Julee: I had learned, I was getting published actually two weeks after my dad passed away. And, and that was not expected. So I was editing the book while going through grief and it was very raw and really hard. , I cried a lot. But I heard from readers that it felt really honest and real and, so many readers have reached out to me saying, you know, you've captured it.
[:[00:05:33] Kathleen: Well, that sort of answers my question cuz I was going to ask you, what do you hope readers take away from it? But it sounds like you've already heard from readers , that you've achieved that goal. That must feel really good.
[:[00:06:04] Julee: And so it ends, it ends very hopeful and with some forgiveness.
[:[00:06:16] Julee: Actually, I finished my second book and I'm on my third, so the writing part is what brings me the most joy. You know, I'm, I'm not much of an outliner. I'm definitely a pantser, which means, you know, wherever the story goes, it goes. And I love that feeling of when the words are like in your head and you get them all down on paper and it's like one big exhale.
[:[00:06:38] Kathleen: So the, are you a, are you a pants?
[:[00:06:52] Kathleen: the story goes where the story goes. That's great. I, I don't function that way. I have to have it all plotted out,
[:[00:07:09] Kathleen: Yeah, and it's good to leave space. I, I do believe that even a pantser has to leave space for the, for the spirit to move and for the process to reveal things that are not obvious at the beginning. So it sounds like that's where you are.
[:[00:07:25] Kathleen: So what is one thing you wish you knew sooner about the process of getting a novel published?
[:[00:07:48] Julee: It's, it's a lot. So enjoy the writing cuz it all gets harder from there.
[:[00:07:59] Julee: sure. So for The Things We Keep, um, you know, debut authors, so, um, I had read a few different ways to get, publishers and agents and there were these pitch war contests happening on Twitter. They happen, now, but not as often, and I. I thought, oh, I'm not on Twitter. Let me get on Twitter and you know, try to get an audience.
[:[00:08:38] Julee: For the second book, I really want an agent because I just want the distribution. My second book is a lot of fun. It's funny, it's as opposite as my first book as possible, just by chance. Um, but still has strong female characters. You know, that's probably my one thing that I love. I love complicated characters.
[:[00:09:00] Julee: Yeah, so it ha right now three agents have the full of it and I'm waiting, trying to be patient, but you know,
[:[00:09:12] Julee: I hope today will be the day.
[:[00:09:19] Julee: I mean, I hope I keep writing books. I, I'm a writer as my day job, but more like branding and advertising. I love to write, but being, uh, writing books is the best. So I would love nothing more than to have a publisher or somebody that believes in me and lets me keep writing, cuz I have more, more stories to tell.
[:[00:09:46] Julee: Oh, run away. Um, no. Uh, I would say, you know, be true to who you are. There are so many writers, there's so many platforms. There's so many people doing amazing things like. Just don't look like. Stay in your lane. Be who you are, and trust your own voice, and that's what you're providing to the world. Don't compare.
[:[00:10:24] Kathleen: And I think of that all the time because it really does. I mean, when we are, when we are doing this work of writing, and especially writing a story, it's like you're pulling something out from inside yourself and just laying it out there to be pulled apart. So it really does. If, if somebody else gets 20,000 Twitter followers, I'm like, ah, oh, I'm a terrible, I'm a loser, you know?
[:[00:11:03] Julee: So that's, that's what I love. There's, there's infinite space for infinite writers.
[:[00:11:25] Julee: Yeah, no, it's, it's amazing. And you know, the thing about being an author is you tend to be a reader too. So, um, I, I love, that's probably the number one way I inspire myself is I read about a book a week, all different ones. And, um, you can always, you know, be inspired by a book.
[:[00:11:50] Julee: I will tell you because it actually, I had a, um, fine. I am terrible with self care. I don't drink water. I hardly move. I'm not a good specimen for any of that. But reading books is my self-care. It is my therapy. It is the time my brain goes quiet. So at the end of the day, my kids know it's time for them to go to their beds and it's time for mom to go to her bed, and that is when she reads.
[:[00:12:21] Kathleen: That sounds really lovely actually. Okay, so tell us, where's the best place for people to go to find you online? Is it Twitter?
[:[00:12:51] Julee: You know, in my spare, Spare Time
[:[00:13:00] Julee: well, you know what poetry is from Twitter? Um, there's a group called Move Me Poetry, and every week we write poems and it's totally about creativity and having fun.
[:[00:13:18] Julee: So I'm gonna totally cheat on this and say it's always whatever book I'm reading next. This week I'm reading Song of Achilles which I hadn't read. I have a long list of books, like, Ooh, I wanna read it. Beautiful Language, just gorgeous. Um, I read Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, last week again, that one won the, uh, good Reads Award.
[:[00:13:50] Kathleen: Well, that's a good way to be cuz then it means you're always happy.
[:[00:13:54] Kathleen: Thank you so much for taking the time with us today, Julee. Again, the novel is The Things We Keep, and you can find her@JuleeBalko.com. Thanks so much for being here.
[:[00:14:06] Kathleen: Thanks for joining us. We hope you'll take a second to give us some stars or a review on your favorite podcasting platform. We'll be back next Wednesday, and in the meantime, follow us on Instagram @AuthorExpressPodcast to see who's coming up next. Don't forget, keep it express, but keep it interesting.
